In the early stages of the 2005 fall hunting season, I noticed that I was often times finding myself getting a bit out of breath while hunting; especially after a fast walk or when walking up a steep incline. I didn't pay too much attention to this and just figured it was part of the aging process catching up.

Back in 1990 I had joined a local gym and took to exercising pretty seriously. So when I took early retirement in 1995 from the General Electric company that I had been employed with for thirty four years I was in excellent physical shape. GE had been a great place to work, but I was anxious to take the "early out" they offered, so my career as a Mfg Supervisor of a large Screw Machine Shop department came to an end. I was a great employee for that company and it was a great employer to me for 34 years: a perfect match.
And Shortly after my retirement from G.E., I took a part time job as a Fitness Instructor in the gym I had been exercising in the past five years. I had trained hard and over a period of time I got to a level of fitness whereas I could do Squats to 430 pounds, Dead lifts to 405 pounds, Inclined bench presses to 300 pounds and I could run 3-4 miles at a seven minute pace.I felt great and enjoyed the tough exercising routines I was doing.
From my schooling as a personal trainer I understood the dangers and signs of overtraining and in the early winter of 2005 my workouts were getting to me. I had to slow down my running pace and I started lifting lighter weights and that helped me get through my workouts a bit easier. I even took a couple weeks off from all exercises as these were the strategies to implement when signs of over training surfaced. Once again I reasoned that I wasn't getting younger and sooner or later I'd have to back off. But backing off wasn't the way I've ever approached anything.
I have a pretty extensive athletic background going back when I was a kid having lettered in Track,Baseball,Football,and Basketball while in High school (Spaulding of Rochester N.H.). I was fortunate to be on some great teams in those days as we won 2 football State Championships going undefeated in 1956 and 1957. We also won the State Baseball title in 1958 which was highlighted by my pitching a NO-HITTER against the powerful Crimsom Tide of Condord N.H. We also won the State title in American Legion baseball that year too. So physically I could always say "been there, done that"!
However when I turned fifty years of age (1990)I was over weight and very much out of shape so getting into the gym sounded like a good idea. In them early school days nobody lifted weights as it was thought to be a detrimental activity for athletes. Boy have things changed. Like everything else I've ever done in my life I threw myself into the exercise activities. Over the next few years I got myself physically strong and aerobically fit. I was 5 foot five inches tall, weighed 172 pounds, with a body fat of 10%. Pretty good for an "old guy".

Over the years I had been pretty faithful getting annual physicals as everybody who might be reading this should be doing. In fact during one of those physicals back in the late 1980's the doctors saw spots on my lungs and after many check ups and X-rays they determined that my lungs were somewhat full of what is known as PLEURAL PLAQUES. This is scarred tissue, caused by exposure to asbestos. I've never smoked in my life other then somebody elses second hand smoke, but I was very much exposed to asbestos while I did a tour in the Navy from 1958 thru 1961 living aboard a ship for some 2 1/2 years. All I could do is live with the condition and the "Doc's" said the best thing I could do for myself was to keep in good shape, and that aerobic exercise would help keep the lung tissue soft and pliable. This was the main reason why I joined the gym in the first place back in 1990.

In the year 2005, I began my eleventh year as a "Fitness intructor" at The Works Athletic Club in our local area which is owned and operated by the Wentworth Douglas Hospital of Dover N.H. I considered myself extremely fit for my age and I enjoyed training and teaching fitness classes to age populations that varied from 8 years to 90 years young, both male and female. Life is good!

Now let me back this story up a bit to 1972 when I was the President of our local PTA. Having some kids in the school system I tried to do my part as a "Dad" and concerned citizen. At the end of each PTA meeting, we would hold a raffle to raise a few bucks to puchase playground equipment for the kids. At each meeting I would circulate around the crowd and sell the 25 cent tickets, but this one guy ALWAYS refused to buy a ticket. That struck me as odd and I wondered why a person would not spend 25 pennies for such a good cause??? After several PTA meetings I got to talking to this "Character" and discovered that he was a PASTOR in one of our Churches in town. So after each meeting I made it a point to talk with him and after a fashion I asked him why he refused to buy a 25 cent raffle ticket. He said he couldn't as he lived his life as a testimony to his belief according to the Holy Bible. He referred me to 1 Thessolonians 5:22 which says to "Abstain from ALL appearance of Evil". So because of those words he chose NOT to gamble for any reason, at any level, as it wasn't a CHRIST like thing for him to do. We continued to talk a lot after the PTA meetings as the "Pastor" was a fisherman as well as a hunter, so we had that in common. Then one night he became a "FISHER OF MEN" as he led me to the LORD JESUS CHRIST and my life as a Christian began and I changed as a person.
So there I was in 2005; life is good! The Lord is my Shepherd, retired, married to the same woman for 44 years, got a fun part time job, dogs are running great and I was in top physical condition.


When the hunting season rolled around in 2005 I noticed that I'd get tired easily after walking up and down the land hunting for the bunnies. At the gym my workouts suffered too. I had a doctors appointment for a physical in December of '05 and I told the "Doc" that I felt good except that I got tired some. Boy did I use the wrong words telling him that. What was really happening to me is that I'd get out of breath easily and saying I was tired wasn't the correct explanation. I asked the doctor for a colonoscopy and he resisted saying I didn't need one. Because I looked great due to all the exercising, I guess he figure I didn't need one? At 65 years old then I had never had a colonoscopy and should've had one long before that. Some of these doctors don't push preventive medicine as much as they should I think. He checked my prostate with a digital exam and noticed blood on his finger. He gave me some "Hemoccult" folders for me to use to submit fecal specimens to check for blood in my stool which I submitted over the next few weeks. I kinda insisted on the colonoscopy so after much discussion he wrote an order for me to get one.
We kept hunting over the next number of weeks and I continued to get out of breath and my workouts were tough to get through. I could still do my three sets of presses with 110 pound dumbells from an inclined position and do three sets of squats at 315 for eight reps but I'd be totally out of breath after these exercises. During one of these sessions a friend of mine Dave Noviss, who I helped train suggested that I see a different doctor and gave me the name of a doctor Bill Hassett who's practice was located in the Wentworth Douglas hospital in Dover N.H.
I never got any feed back about the results of the "hemoccult" specimens I had submitted and though I did get the colonoscopy as well as an endoscopy I never got the results of these two tests, so I figured all was well.
On one hunt in March of 2006 we hunted a place that was hilly and every time I climbed a hill I had to get down on one knee to get my breath. After the hunt on the way out we had to walk up a pretty long hill and I'd have to stop periodically to get my breath. I used to call this getting tired but I was really getting out of breath. And on this trip the kids beat me to the truck for the first time...ever.

Finally I got a call from Dr. Hassett's office saying they had an opening and that he could see me on April 5th. So on 04-05-06 (4-5-6) I met with DR. Hassett for the first time. This guy is a down to earth no nonesense professional thoroughly dedicated to make you well no matter what it takes. We talked and I explained to him my story. Since his office is located in the hospital itself, getting stuff done was done expeditiously. He ordered me to have X-rays taken and blood work done immediately after I left his office and to report back to his office before going home. Got the blood work done "tickity boo" (right off) and had to get in line and wait to get my X-rays taken. Man I never realized how many sick people there are! After I was done with the X-rays I went back to the doctors office and he said that he knew what my problem was. He had the results from the lab on the blood work I just had done and he said I was out of gas, explaining that my blood count was very low. He called it Hematacrit and it was if I remember correctly down to 13. It should be around 45 for a male to be normal. He said he didn't want me to go home but wanted me to be immediately admitted into the hospital for the night, where I would get transfused with two units of blood. It took a while for them to test my blood and all that stuff a new patient might go through so I settled in for the night. The last time I was ever in a hospital for and ailment was when I was three years old and had my appendix removed.

......CONTINUED 10-14-07
It can take a pretty long time to get a pint of blood even though the nurses can control the speed to some degree, depending on how they calibrate the pump. I didn't sleep too good that night as you can imagine, but we got through the two units without a problem. The next morning this little short guy dressed in a white outfit walks into the room and introduces himself as Dr Kurishi and I read the word oncology on his uniform. He was very distinguished looking, polite and very professional. He told me in a sort of blunt to the point manner, that I had lung cancer. The X-rays taken the day before revealed tumors in both lungs. He said they were inoperable. I answered a lot of his questions and told him that I had known pleural plaques on my lungs from exposure to asbestos when I was in the Navy. He told me I'd need more testings done and my low blood count was an issue that needed resolving.
After he left I pondered what he said and immediately I thought of the 23rd Chapter of the Psalms the first verse. "The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want". With Jesus Christ as my Shepherd what else do I need. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil", these words of the fourth verse comforted me also in that no matter what would come in the days ahead I knew The Lord was with me. Then I wondered how it would all go down when I got to tell my wife? It didn't take long to get over that hurdle for she walked into the room early that first morning. When I told her she wept, so that made me weep too. We talked about our strenght in the Lord and how things would work out. "The Shepherd" would watch over us!
I got released from the hospital that morning and was scheduled to see Dr Hassett in a couple days. He then ordered me get a brain MRI and CTscans for the chest area. The MRI required me to drink 2 large containers of stuff they call "contrast", guess it enables the prints from the MRI to show problem areas more definitively. Let me tell you, 2 containers of that stuff is a lot of drink! Then I laid down on this moveable table, and they placed a cage like affair over my head that stabilized my head from any movement so as to prevent any blurred images I guess. You wear ear plugs or ear muffs to minimize the noise that this test produces. Right after that I got my first CTscan. Another eerie event as they inject a fluid into you through an I.V. hookup that enhances the images. This fluid you can feel as it flows through you and causes a hot flash like sensation that starts from the top of your head and flows toward your feet like a hot wave of water might do, but it's all internal.

.......CONTINUED 10-26-2007 .......I knew that my workout days would cease or slow down appreciably and this in effect would just about end my days of working the heavy weights, so Christopher and I went to the gym for a last workout and I got him to take a picture of me doing some inclined presses at 100 pounds. It was neat to have been able to do heavy workouts, one of those "guy" things I guess. Also I knew that my job here at the gym would have to end as my schedule for medical reasons for one thing or another would place too much of a burden on management to backfill my absences from work. So I told my boss Samantha Merchant the situation and thus ended my life as a fitness instructor.
Over the next few days I continued to visit the hospital to talk with various doctors and get blood work done. I was lined up to get a procedure done called a Fine Needle Ascopy whereas in my case they would force a long needle like tool through my back between the ribs into my lung to extract a sample of tissue for the lab people to analyze in order to define the tumor scientifically. This was done with some anesthesia and although it was uncomfortable I didn't feel much pain. What was an overwhelming experience going through that procedure was the nurse. JEANNIE was her name and she held my hand throughout the entire process as Dr.Seth Hardy worked with the other O.R. technicians. This would be my first experience with a nurse, and the beginning of some awesome care displayed by the compassion, love, and tenderness they gave me during my battle with the cancer. I thank God for JEANNIE to this day and I will never forget her holding my hand. The sample tissue taken from this procedure was later identified as Non small Cell Lung Cancer.

After talking with my oncologist he said we should get a second opinion and he scheduled me to go to Mass. General Hospital in Boston to see a lung specialist there, Dr. Choi. But before that I would need another blood transfusion. I was still losing blood at a pretty fast rate. I also got another scan called a PETscan where this is a super duper scan where the technicians inject you with some nuclear contrast material. Guess I was gonna be glowing in the dark from now on? (just kidding).
When you lift heavy weights like I did there's always some body part that is sore or acting up a bit and I had a bit of discomfort on the upper part of my left calf muscle. Like I said before I did heavy squats for my age and weight. My normal squat routine would consist of a 225 warm up with 8 reps then do 3 sets of 8 reps at 315, 365, 385 respectively. I had done as much as 430 before but had decided to ease off for fear of getting a serious injury. So one night just before we had to go to Boston to meet with the lung guy, I sat on the couch and had my left leg on the couch as I rubbed my calf muscle. I noticed a lump on this muscle about an inch in diameter and kind've egg shaped.
We went to Boston and met with Dr Choi and he was extremely nice. Here's a guy who could put you at ease in spite of your life threatening sickness. At the end of our discussion I showed him the lump I found on my leg and I could tell by his demeanor that this was an major issue. He had me immediately go to another place in the hospital to have another Fine Needle Ascopy done on this lump. a few days later Boston called to say that the tumor was cancerous and that I would need another biopsy to extract a larger sample of tissue in order to better identify the cancer. In the mean time I'm still bleeding and needed more blood..

TO BE CONTINUED

Continued 11-06-2007...THE EMOTIONAL SIDE OF THINGS was a work in progress. At first, just after being diagnosed with this disease, the emotions ran high. THE FIRST REACTION IS THE FEELING YOUR GOING TO DIE! LIKE TOMORROW MORNING!...Over those next few days the thought of separation from your wife and family was an ordeal. My standing with the Lord was secure but still there was a high degree of unrest. A loved one passes away and you go to the funeral parlor and view with grief the casket before you. Your heart is full of sorrow as the separation becomes a reality. But now it was like I was in the casket looking back to my loved ones and the emotion of bereavement was the same. As I encountered friends and family over the next few days the conversations I could tell was uncomfortable for everyone. What do you say when you look at a loved one or friend who's got CANCER. The word itself is scary to most. But everybody would say you can fight this thing. Cards, phone calls, e-mails from people I didn't even know came in all saying the same best wishes and "you can fight this thing"!
Before you can fight anything first of all you must FACE THE PROBLEM. I did just that from the "get go" when I recited the First verse of Psalms 23 that moment after the doctor gave me the news. "It was well with my soul"....and we'd go from there. Two weeks later on Sunday morning at Church I got up in front of the Congregation in a very emotional presentation and told them of my sickness, Cancer in both lungs and I was going to die. I told them THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD I SHALL NOT WANT and that I had that spiritual peace of God that does indeed does pass all understanding. I know it sounds odd to be spiritually at peace, but on the human side still very emotionally distraught. Needless to say the Church family was very supportive with prayers, cards and phone calls.

When I told the Church family I was going to die that's how I felt at the time and I was right. Fact is, sooner or later everybody is going to die. I was wrong in thinking that I'd be dead like tomorrow morning. So if they tell you, you have cancer, you might think you will die, BUT IT WON'T BE TOMORROW!

Since Boston had called to say I needed to go back to get another more invasive biopsy on the lump on my leg so they could better define that cancer, back we went. That procedure was done without much difficulty and back home we went. My wife took charge of me from the "git go" and did all the driving and goes in the hospital with me just about everywhere we go. I call her "MY BODY GUARD". In a week or so later Boston called wanting me to go there to see an oncologist to review my situation. In the meantime I'm getting transfused about every two weeks.
TO BE CONTINUED!

Continued 11-13-2007...Before I get into the results of this latest trip to Boston let me say a few things about "FIGHTING CANCER". Well, everybody has their own way of addressing adversity. There are no rules to follow in situations like this.
ATTITUDE...This is the only thing that you can control when faced with any life changing situation. You can take yourself down and all the people around you down if you adopt a WHY ME mind set and feel sorry for yourself. Of course you can take the reverse position by saying WHY NOT ME!. The difference between the two choices are, that one IS ADDING to the problem and the other IS NOT!..... Bear in mind that bad things can happen to good people and vice versa. In the 45th verse of Chapter 5 in the book of Matthew it confirms what I just said. "... for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Life is that way; you never know what the next heartbeat might bring.
I have Faith that God will work things out in the long run and the physical ordeals ahead of me will be addressed by prayer.

When I went back to Boston we were greeted by an oncologist by the name of Dr. Donald Lawrence. My wife and I and my daughter sat with the good doctor and listened to him tell me that the cancer on my leg was Melanoma. I had what they called stage IV Melanoma of an unknown primary. Stage IV is not good and it means that the cancer has spread a lot! And the thinking was that the cancers on the lungs were probably linked to the same melanoma on my leg? It was stated that there was no treatment of any kind that I could receive until the bleeding issue I was experiencing could be stopped.
Dr. Lawrence wanted me to get another colonoscopy and endoscopy done at Mass General. Somehow along the way the doctors at home conferred with the doctors at Mass General and it was decided to have the two procedures done in Dover once again, by the same doctor who did the first ones back in December of '05???? When I went to have the procedures done I could tell that the local doctor resented the fact that Mass General wanted the procedures done in Boston. I sensed a bit of professional jealousy here as I figured the local doctor thought Boston didn't trust his work done previously. The results of these tests were negative and when we went back to Boston for a follow up meeting Dr. Lawrence wanted me to have another endoscopy done there with a doctor Forcione who either had a special talent or a different tool by which he could see deeper through your stomach.
At this point let me say that colons and large intestines can be scrutinized pretty thoroughly with todays science but small intestines can not be effectively looked at. I had Ctscans done as well as PETscans done but still the bleeding problem could not be found and the transfusions continued. Next they had me swallow a small camera called VCE procedure. The camera is about the size of the end of your little finger and gulped down. It takes a picture every second as it passes through your digestive system. There's about a 70 percent chance of getting good data from the thing and in this case it didn't reveal all that much.
The results of Dr Forcione's endoscopy procedure revealed some suspect looking tissue in the area near the small intestines called the JEJUNUM. So they wanted me to do the VCE procedure done again. This time they got some good data and the next move would be surgery.
Over the weeks since I was diagnosed as having cancer we made many trips back and forth to Boston. It is what it is, and whatever we had to do that the doctors recommended, we did.
To be continued...

Continued..... 11-21-2007...Over the weeks that followed my diagnosis, the emotions continued to run high and so it did within my family and friends too. I wondered what JOB in the Bible would do? "that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and upright man, one who feareth God and shunned evil." JOB 1:8. Not only did he walk with God, he was a rich man also. Over a period of time God allowed Satan to severely test him. He lost wealth, he lost his children and suffered terrible physical affliction. In the second Chapter versus 9 and 10 it says; "Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou (do you) still retain thine integrety? "Curse God and die", (she said to him). But he said to her, "Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. WHAT? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil"? In all this did not JOB sin with his lips."
Around the middle of May 2006, Pastor German and his wife took some time off to vacation and a Brother from our Church Bill Darrah filled in, in our Pastors stead for a Sunday morning service. The text he would preach on that Sunday was taken out of the book of JOHN chapter 14 verse 1-2. Boy don't you think that this didn't strike home. The Preacher is reading the text where Jesus says he's going to prepare a place for you (me). And I'm still thinking I'm going to die tomorrow morning of this cancer???? GREAT TIMING!!
Well I continued to read the book of Job. In fact I read it three times over, over a short period of time and each time I reaped something special that I had missed before. I guess the bible is like that; always something new revealed to you.
One of the versus that spoke to me with great authority was found in the 23rd Chapter of JOB the 10th verse where GOD is saying to me "But he knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold". And so it goes, with Faith believing, I walk with God, and figure that He will take care of me as the Bible says.

Continued..... 12-13-2007...It was decided that I would be operated on around the first of July of 2006, so in late June we met with doctor KUSACK the surgeon and he explained to me what he was going to do and based on the information he got from Dr. Forcioni, he expected to find tumors somewhere in the small intestines. If the tumors were well spread throughout the small intestinal tract there wasn't much he could do but sew me back up.
Well the operation went fine and as it turned out the tumors were clustered at the beginning of the small intestinal tract near the JEJUNUM as suspected. Dr Kusac removed about 3 feet of the small intestines and put me back together OK. Over the next few weeks my hematacrit levels increased into the mid twenties. I healed pretty fast and even got to go to the Beagle club to run dogs with my friends Neal and Wayne. They could catch the dogs for me if need be. One evening just a week after the operation we were running dogs and the dog I had was hard to catch, but I had a shocking collar on her. She was off on a split when it was time to catch the dogs, so the guys went one way and I went another way. Rosy was in our swamp running and I was able to get down a short ways into the swamp near Rosy and hit her with the shock collar while calling her. She stopped running and started coming my way and when I moved toward her I went over my boots up to my knees in the water that engulfs our whole swamp at this time of year. I lost focus of Rosy a minute or so, while I had to exert myself to get out of the muck. Well Rosy took this opportunity to move into the swamp a bit further when she hit the line and started out again as I scrambled to reach her. I hit her again with the shock collar and this time she laid down on a hummock surrounded by water. I could see her some thirty yards away so I kept going toward her and when I leashed her up I was up to my hips in muck, but all my stiches were OK! Since I was now about half way across the swamp, I figured it was just as easy to keep going and traverse the whole thing. Not really a big deal as long as I didn't fall into the water with these stiches still clipped on. Dr Kusac had done a great job and in fact when everything healed up, the long incision is barely visible. As I write this my "Body Guard" still doesn't know about my walk through the swamp that night!
I met with Dr. Lawrence a number of times and he wanted me to try a Chemo therapy of sorts called Interleukin II. It basically is an approach that attempts to stimulate your own immune system so it can kill this type of cancer. However the treatment would be extremely difficult physically and I would have to pass a stress test before we could plan further. I took the stress test and even though my blood count had been extremely low I was still in great shape. Dr Kusac said to me after the operation that he had never cut through an abdominal wall as thickly muscled as mine was. Must've gotten that way from all those 325 pound squats that I loved to do! Anyway I blew that stress test away like nothing and we prepared for the Interleukin II treatment.

All the Chruch family was praying for me and many other people were too; and the e-mails were great to read coming from many people, some of whom I didn't even know. The plan was to do a week on the medicine, then a week off at home, then back to the hospital for another week on of the stuff. Dr. Lawrence said that I would get very sick, and as it turned out he was correct! I would start treatments on a Monday morning with an infusion of the Interleukin II every 8 hours. The plan was to get up 14 infusions at 8 hour intervals or until my vital signs got so low that life was in the balance. Dr. Lawrence told me that just about nobody ever got to get the full 14 doses.
My wife Joy and I would go to Boston on Sunday and stay in a motel that works closely with the MASS GENERAL hospital and it's patients and family. They have special pricing for people like us where my wife would stay for the week.
So at the Sunday morning service on the Sunday we would leave for Boston, Brother Mark Callaghan sang the hymn "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL".....I never heard it sung any better than that , EVER!

I reported to the Ellisson building early on a Monday morning to be hooked up to a thing called a PICC line. The official name of this apparatus is a Peripheral Inserted Central Catheter. Hence PICC line. It's like and intravenus hook up except that a small tube is inserted just above the elbow on the inside part of the arm. This tube is placed into an artery and pushed up to the heart near the hearts aorta. On the other end of the PICC line the part that sticks out of your arm, they have a 3 valve manifold like apparatus that allows them to give you 3 medicines at the same time fed directly into your blood stream at the hearts intake.

By now I'm wearing the standard "Johnnie" that is the uniform of the day for us patients. Man what lousy dress wear! We were told to go upstairs to the 14th floor of this building where the oncology patients were cared for.
ELLISSON 14, came into my life as a very special place that I will NEVER forget. (I weep as I write this just thinking about it). At the desk the receptionist greets me and I sign a few papers and stuff and she weighs me in at 176 pounds. She escorts me to my room for the week and my wife and I settle in. In a few minutes THERE SHE IS... "KATIE".. walking in the room to shake my hand and saying she would be one of my nurses for the week. "KATIE" about 5 foot 3 inches tall, about 115 pounds, with blonde hair. She does her nurse thing by taking my vital signs and gets me hooked up to the "IV" pump to get a drip started. Then she checks out my PICC line to make sure it looks OK. They watch the PICC line closely, since it's linked directly into the heart. KATIE stayed in the room with us a while and told us what to expect in the days to come. Katie has cared for Interleukin patients before and knew what was instore for us.
NURSES....I can't say enough about the care I received from the nurses on Ellisson 14. KATIE, JACKIE and TERRI were the usual three that watched over me.
Things went pretty well in the beginning and it got boring just hanging around in bed tied to a "pump on a pole" plugged into the wall. During the night "THE SONG", "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL" kept coming by in my mind and I'd humm the tune over and over and over again. "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want". It is well with my soul! I was engulfed in the Spirit of God! I sensed His presence as never before.
Periodically the nurse would come in and take my vital signs and record them for tracking purposes. They would wake you up if need be to get this data. The deeper you get into the process of this treatment the closer they take you to life's end. The process stops when you hit that danger point.
I just can't describe the care I received from these girls, all young enough to be my daughters. I got to know them pretty well and I called them my Angels. For me they were sent from God, to give me the very best I could get, at a very trying time.
As the days passed I got to put on a lot of weight; mostly water retention stuff. Then I started itching and I remembered JOB, from the many times I read that book. He was a righteous man and his account I'm convinced was written for us to receive as a guide for our behavior when the going gets tough. "Curse God an die" she said. WHAT!! Are you nuts. "SHALL WE RECEIVE GOOD AT THE HAND OF GOD, AND SHALL WE NOT RECEIVE EVIL...JOB 2:10 .The least I could do is pray and survive the best I could, with the help of the Good Doctor with the Good Medicine that I had prayed for months before. The Good Care that these NURSES provided me was an added bonus..."IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL", it continued to replay in my mind,over and over again. It gave me peace!
By the end of that first week I was pretty sick and the infusions stopped when I reached 12 units. Not quite the maximum of 14 but well enough to have impressed the doctor. Again I really can't put into words about the loving care I got from KATIE, JACKIE and TERRI. Just a God send as far as I'm concerned. When they released me on the Saturday of that first week I had gained 22 lbs and was pretty puffed up. I could walk but was pretty shaky. They gave me pills to take at home to help me get rid of that fluid. I think they called it Lasix; but I had a whole bunch of other stuff to take too. At home all I did was lay around and get better, but the itching was terrible. Every day, I got better than the day before and by the end of the first week I was feeling pretty good and just in time to return to Boston for another round of INTERLEUKIN II! Not good!

Continued on 1-11-2008
After a week of recuperation my wife drove us back to Boston to get another weeks dose of INTERLEUKIN II. At least now I knew what to expect to some degree as the "drill" would go the same. A dose of the stuff every 8 hours until I got 14 doses or my vital signs got dangerously low. My nurses would be the same and "THANK YOU LORD for KATIE,JACKIE and TERRI. All the stuff I experienced the first week would come to pass on this second week. Itching, no sleep, water retention, discomfort, no appetite etc etc. And the Hymn "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL" played back in my mind over and over and over again. I reached 11 units of this medicine on this trip before Dr. Lawrence said enough! I was released from the hospital weighing 198 pounds and as the days passed I lost 2-3 pounds a day.
The track record for patients who've under gone INTERLEUKIN II treatments was that it work great for about 9 percent of those who have been through it. So I had a chance to have good things happen. It either works great or not at all. At home I got better everyday but the itching was pretty bad. I wasn't nauseous like I had been and I could eat a little and I could even sleep a little. I spent a lot of time reading the BIBLE and got a lot of peace and strength from reading the Scriptures.
At the pinnacle of JOB's afflictions he stayed the course and was FAITHFUL TO GOD in every which way. A testimony of how we should conduct ourselves when caught in a horrible situation. He say's in CHAPTER 23 verse 10; "BUT HE KNOWETH THE WAY THAT I TAKE, WHEN HE HATH TRIED ME I SHALL COME FORTH AS GOLD". JOB never wavered and remained faithful to God and he knew he would be restored to something good one day.
Remember I said that the first thing you think of when you hear you have CANCER is that you're going to die; like tomorrow morning. Well on another day when reading the BIBLE I got into the book of PROVERBS and came across a verse with a "catchy" number. PROVERBS 9:11, an easy number to remember 911. GOD says in this verse, "FOR BY ME THY DAYS SHALL BE MULTIPLIED, AND THE YEARS OF THY LIFE SHALL BE INCREASED". Wow that kinda struck home and I knew that things would work out O.K. for me. At least it was encouraging to have GOD speak to me in this fashion. My FAITH was strenghtened and I was greatly comforted and like Job I would "come forth as gold". The days passed and I was able to get out some and even got to going to the Beagle Club with friends and my Grandson. They would help catch the dogs on those occasions when I couldn't. I lost a lot of weight and got down to 160 pounds and looked terrible. I was down about 15 pounds of my normal weight losing all muscle I suspect. No exercise and very little eating will do that. Over the next few weeks we made a few trips to Boston for tests and to see Dr. Lawrence. On one of those meetings the doctor said that we didn't get the results they were hoping for but there was some slow down in the rate at which the tumors had been growing. Dr. Lawrence said even though the results of the treatments weren't as favorable as what they could've been there was enough evidence that my immune system was responding to some degree. With this in mind he recommended another round of the INTERLEUKIN II. One week on, one week off, and another week on, the same as before.
I was scheduled to go back to Boston in September of 2006 but before I could go through that again I'd need another CTscan and an MRI.
We decided to leave for Boston early for the scans and MRI and got to the hospital 2 hours earlier than the schedule called for. Sometimes they take you in early if there had been a cancellation. An early in could mean an early out for us if we got lucky. Right off the bat I was sent upstairs to get the scan. In that waiting room there was a young girl there with a "johnny" on who was very upset and her young husband was even more upset. She was to see a doctor and they had been waiting over an hour for the doctor to show up. I could gather by their comments that she was to have heart sugery in a few days and she had to see this doctor. The nurse called me into the back room where I changed into a "johnny"and they prep'ed me with the "IV" hook up. This all took about 45 minutes or so then they told me to go back into the waiting room until it was my turn. Back in the waiting room that same young girl in her early twenties it looked like, was still there and totally broken up crying and extremely upset. I really felt for her, then hung my head down and wept in silence and I prayed that GOD would intervene for this poor girl and save her from this agony. I had gone through months of anguish myself and other people in the Church were as sick as I was and we prayed and prayed and it seemed that nothing was happening. As I prayed for this young girl I finished by saying "Lord are you listening, are you listening" and before I could say Amen a nurse came into the room and took the couple to the doctor they had been waiting for, for two hours. Some would say that this was a coincidence but I say that this was answered prayer, with GOD reassuring me that he was; LISTENING.
At Church at the Sunday morning service just before leaving for Boston we had special music once again. We don't have special music every Sunday, but we did on this day and on this occasion the Pastors wife Barbara sang a song "ONLY JESUS CAN SATISFY YOUR SOUL". It too was especially well sung and very significant to me. In the afternoon we returned back to Boston for another round of INTERLEUKIN II. The following morning in the hospital they rigged me up with another PICC line and then sent us upstairs to Ellison 14. And thank God once again I got the same three nurses to watch over me.

Continued.....01-31-2008
A few minutes after we got on that 14th floor I saw Katie and I teared up again, just seeing her was very emotional. This girl represented all the good care I had received since my ordeal began and expressing my gratitude the way I really felt these nurses is just too hard to describe with the printed word.
The routine would be the same. A unit of the stuff every 8 hours until I got 14 units or my vital signs approached the danger line. A few days into the treatments I got an infection in my PICC line which is not all that uncommon I guess. They watch this thing very closely all the time, so I'd say it was a critical hook up. They pulled out the PICC line right there in my room and brought over a special team of technicians who do only PICC line hookups. This time they put in in my other arm, and did it right there in my bed. It's not that painful an ordeal but also it's not something that's on my top ten preferred things to do list.
Because of the infection I would have to get shots twice a day now for thirty days to get rid of the infection. Of course this is to go along with all the other medications I was getting. The syringe they used for these shots was very fine in diameter like the ones peole who take insulin use for their shots. You don't feel much of anything getting these needles so the whole thing wasn't a big deal.
Toward the end of the week I was kinda having some issues thinking clearly because of all the "meds", but the hymn "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL" continued replaying in my mind over and over again. Especially at night when there wasn't much going on. Then one night I can remember to this day, as I listened to the music in my head of the hymn "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL", the song that Frank Sinatra used to sing "I DID IT MY WAY" popped into my mind for a moment. Where did that come from!!! But as quickly as it had come into remembrance, it was snuffed out by the song that Barbara had sung that Sunday; ONLY JESUS CAN SATISFY YOUR SOUL. Then the two songs took turns playing in my mind over and over and over again, and I remember it clearly even unto this day. That night sure was different. I remember being there in my room all alone, with the two hymns replaying over and over and over again and then I'd quote scripture to myself with the sound of the hymns in the backgound. And the first verse of Psalms 23 was most precious. "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want". In spite of my circumstance what else did I need!
EPHESIANS 5:18-19 says, "be filled with the Spirit. Speaking to yourselves in psalms, and hymns of spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord". For sure, these two verses describe clearly what was going with me that night, in that circumstance. I was "Under his wing"! What else did I need?

I got 12 doses of INTERLEUKIN II that week before they called it quits and was sent home once again to recuperate. However this time I'd still have to take them shots for the infection twice a day. Luckily my daughter is a nurse so she'd come over to the house to "shoot me! The following week we went back to Boston for the last go 'round with the INTERLEUKIN II. This time they put the PICC line in my arm right there in my room with a team of technicians who really knew their stuff. The week went just like the other sessions I had with the medicine and the two hymns continued to give me peace. I read the BIBLE a lot and got great comfort from the book of JOB and the PSALMS. I was only able to withstand 11 doses on this final week of treatments before it all ended and the doctor was well pleased. So home we went and the memories I have of my stay at ELLISON 14 of the MASS GENERAL hospital will never be forgotten, nor those three girls who took care of me all that time.

At home I rested a lot and started walking a lot to regain my strength. I went to the Beagle Club with the dogs and Christopher my grandson and Neal Smith gave me a hand. My daughter kept coming over to give me those shots, but by now the hunting season was approaching and if I wanted to go on a two day trip up north, I'd have to give myself the shots. WOW!!! With all the needles I've been introduced to over these many weeks without fear; fear set in with the thought of giving myself a shot. WHAT A WHIMP!!! I finally got the courage to do it and to my surprise it was a piece of cake. I fretted over the whole thing for nothing. And it's true "WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF".
Well after a fashion we headed back to Boston for more CTscans and MRI's, and the results of the INTERLEUKIN treatments did not proffer the results that the doctor had hoped for. Later I was put on a new treatment under what is called "CLINICAL TRIALS". This is a treatment that is experimental and the only recourse I have scientifically speaking given the kind of cancer that I have. I asked the "DOC" how well this stuff worked on the mice and he said GREAT!!! WOW, now we can try it on the rats (just kidding)! So here we go with a new approach. HOWEVER, I do have the power of prayer going for me and in all thruth what better treatment is there? GOD expects us to use doctors, nurses and science to help us heal but HE does the healing. I THESSALONIANS 5:17 says to "Pray without ceasing", GOD will give the increase.

Time has passed as I write this on February 5, 2008, and right now I'm feeling pretty good. I got two cycles of the "clinical trial" medicine they infused me with several months ago and we'll just have to wait and see how it all turns out. I had CTscans and MRI's every month for 4 months and none of the tumors have changed in size. The doctor is very pleased with this result and I will now have "scans" done every 3 months if things continue at this pace. I've rejoined the GYM where I was once a "trainer" and have been lifting weights again and doing some running on the treadmill. I look good I think?? But I feel good I know! It's been an experience for sure.
I want to thank everyone who sent me cards and e-mails, wishing me luck and praying for me. Many of you I don't even know. You don't know how uplifting those cards an e-mails were when I was going through the treatments. God Bless You All!.

NOW WHY DID I TELL THIS STORY?????
Well, maybe my story will encourage somebody who might read this to better handle a life threatening calamity. I made up my mind the day I found out about the cancer that I would confront the disease openly. No way would I just whisper about it and function in a vacuum. I wasn't going to make people who care about me or who came around me feel uncomfortable about the situation. My first emotion was that I was going to die and I would die like; tomorrow morning. Let me assure you that this WILL NOT HAPPEN. The disease is serious but it can be treated. Science has come a long way in treating sick people.
Get right with God. Pray without ceasing. Read the scriptures, especially the Psalms. Feed your soul the word of God and Pray and you'll experience a "peace that passes all understanding". Good things can happen when going through any trial that life can bring.(Romans 8:28).
Also; everybody who reads this should see a doctor at least annually for a physical. Shun any doctor who drags his/her feet providing you with ALL the periodic exams recommended by current science. If your diagnosis is serious GET A SECOND OPINION. Any good doctor will welcome your call for a second opinion. If not, get a new doctor. If you experience any change in your health status SEE A DOCTOR. Symptoms like fatigue, out of breath, head aches, dizzyness, pressure or discomfort in the chest area, numbness anywhere, coughing a lot, swelling around the ankles or anywhere else for that matter, etc. etc, SEE A DOCTOR!!! EARLY detection can save your life!!!!
Exercise regularly!! At the least incorporate cardio vascular exercise several times a week or more, like walking and get your heart rate up for extended periods of time. DO NOT SMOKE!!!! Get plenty of GOOD sleep. Eat sensibly!
DO NOT UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER! It's the road map by which to live by!

Lastly I'll just say if you need some help or somebody to talk to contact me.

BUTCH

FINISHED 02-05-08!